#martyn is the ONLY exception to this cause of... you know...

[the-fandom-queenxox]

NO! No they absolutely do not freaking know that!!

Cause if you look up "how long do rats live for" you learn very quickly how short these guys live!

Cause a regular wild (literally 90% of the cast) barely makes it to 1 year

But on the other hand domestic pet rats (Acho) live about 3-4 years give or take

And then you get curious like "Oh there must be a rat or a few that must have lived longer then the average lifespan given to rats" and there is one. If you look up "what is the longest a rat has lived" the immediate first thing that pops up is "the longest-living rat lived to be 7 years old" and that, I am afraid, is still a short live to live my friends

But okay let's say that in the world of rats smp, the average lifespan of a rat is 7 years all around, that would make the age related statements the CCs have said a bit better, but not by that much

do these content creators know that rats only live for a couple of years on average, and about seven years at maximum?

[willow-wispwolf]

The lore implications behind Martyn’s new rat are actually driving me insane. I've been obsessing over his rat for like an hour or five.

So, I know his rat is a part of his VTuber story cause of the scars

If you look at the designs, the scars are the same, except there are more as they go on. (I wonder if the eyepatch will stay for the rest of the lore)

The idea of him being back in the Rats world makes for a really interesting story cause I'm not sure if he'll see it as the same game or a sequel game. What makes it even better is that there are repeat characters from Rats 1. He doesn't look terribly different from his Rats 1 character, with the same hair, ears, and color scheme, so feasibly, characters like Trash Rat, Bek, El, Shelby, Will, or Tubbo could possibly recognize him. How will he interact with them?

I mean, it's clear that he's still the pun master, like his Rats 1 title. His favorite food being pie this time is cause he's a pie rat. Then, obviously, there's fishing and phishing. Phishing is clearly the punny synonym for his looting specialty from his previous Rat.

Then, the fact that he's a PI-RAT makes this even more interesting. Martyn's clothes look almost identical to his Pirates smp outfit. Maybe something happened because Doc wasn't responding, and so he got sent to the next world with some Pirates data still with him?

Oh yea and let's not forget the fact that he's the only rat who shares an occupation, and it's with REN

Y'all, I'm so ready for Rats smp 2

I wonder how many jokes about how in Pirates, we were rats in his boot, and now he's a pirate rat there's gonna be. We're gonna be flees in his boots.

[russetfoxfur]

mcyt is NOT beating the criminal allegations

- mumbo did season eight which. ah. produced the wonderful quote: "My parents are still alive... but that can be changed."

- cub eats people

- bad is a cannibal. this is different from eating people, according to my irl. do i want to know

- fit was on 2b2t

- wilbur blew up a country and killed a buncha people

- phil blew up that country too (apparently)

- scar. ah. scar did monopoly mountain and things went downhill from there

- dont even get me started on gem. she started the whole secret life apocalypse. she killed etho at least sixteen times. she is on tumblr which means tango is scared of her AS HE SHOULD BE

- sausage had that whole esmp s1 evil thing. classifying this as sausage because i watched an episode of gem's where he appeared and nothing else and don't actually watch esmp except through osmosis

- didnt joe hills kill a bunch of dogs in s7

- etho ALSO kills people but BADLY (scar boogie kill)

- dream

- *eyeing zedaph's chamber suspiciously* this violates AT LEAST one scientific law or something

- grian. grian my beloved. why are you like this

- jaiden decimated the environment of teyvat

- see lizzie is like her husband. unhinged. shes just bad at surviving so no one gets to see it

- jimmy is like lizzie but more popular for it

- tango is a war criminal but he also makes funny sounds while he commits crimes so i think that negates the whole crimes thing

- while we're at it. all the lifers are criminals EXCEPT SKIZZ EXCEPT SKIZZ EXCEPT SKIZZ

- xisuma boils chicken and eats kiwi skin. worst offense on this list by far

- gem gets a second place on this list because why not. she deserves it

- bdubs bites ankles. probably

- martyn brought the watchers to the life smp which is bad in and of itself. also the Assigned Criminal At Life Series thing

- cherrifire gets an honorary spot on this list mostly because she SHOULD be able to bite ankles. due to aforementioned martyn

anyways please tag w other crimes our blorbos have commited. cheers <3

EDIT: I will be adding more crimes now

- keralis was a capitalist in s7 who bought. rotten flesh. for 128 diamonds. truly exemplifying a billionaire there. dont worry dont worry. hes not a capitalist anymore....but he was once

- pearl poisons people and then has her dogs bite you. reasonable

- cleo does arson. she also kills people. but she does this a lot so it also negates the crimes

- don't mess with forgelabs

- ren has become a dictator at least twice. likes bloodshed. also treebark counts for all the anguish it causes everyone. also also ACALS (assigned criminal at life series)

ALSO if anyone is going to yell at me for fit being on 2b2t. i do not watch him. he is only here because my mcyt irls go insane about him. like all the time. in fact i don't watch qsmp or dsmp but theyre popular enough i know a bit about them. <3

[echosoftheflower]

I feel like there is so much missed potential in this fandom when it comes to Jimmy's part in EVO.

Like yeah, Grian constantly pissed off the watchers by being too greedy and taking more than he should, and we all know it was Grian who was taken by the watchers after the ender dragon fight and made into one of them.

And we know that in the Life series, Martyn's character is spoken to and told to do various things for the Watchers and saved by the Listeners.

And Jimmy has some kind of Canary Curse that causes him to die first every time.

But, there is a lot more to this that people don't use simply because they haven't seen Jimmy's Evo series.

Most of my headcanon ideas are after my little recap of all the listener moments from Evo and you can skip to that, but if you have never seen Evo or never watched past Grian's POV it is pretty interesting and I think I summed it up pretty well.

----start of very long Evo Recap----

Back in Evo, the Watchers never really liked Jimmy or at points Martyn. This is seen when they get gifts from them representing the Watchers' opinions. Jimmy gets one of the worst ones (a chest with some gold and saplings, likely meaning 'room for growth') matched only by Grian's (a chest of coal with one diamond meaning 'diamond in the rough').

Martyn is shown to be disliked when later on he declares himself mayor due to Taurtis having left, his and Jimmy's Property Police station gets a meteor sent through it by the watchers. 

In Jimmy's episode 75 he and Martyn follow a strange noise underneath their destroyed station. They find the listener symbol in bedrock and signs reading 'There are some who watch, we are those who listen. Heed our melody, and await your first mission. Tell nobody." This is the first time we hear about the Listeners and we don't see anything about them again until Jimmy's episode 98. 

They had just defeated the ender dragon and had been told the news that "10 will become 9" and that they were taking Grian. In the end credits when they were told this, multiple members were mentioned by name for various things they had done, all except Jimmy.

In Jimmy's episode he spawns in alone. The spawn is destroyed and grown over and in front of him is the Listeners symbol. He finds a book in a chest simply titled "your mission" and 9 enderchests.

The book reads: "there are some who watch, we are those who listen. It is finally time for your first mission. Dragged forwards through time, your spawn old and rotten. Even in the end credits, your name was forgotten. Cruel are the Watchers who think they know best. For us please deliver each player a chest. SHhhh...."

He goes on to do as they ask,  one ender chest in each player's base. He is never told what these chests are for. Later the rest of Evo spawns in thousands of blocks away at the new spawn, they make their way back and find the Listener's symbol Jimmy had found is now a Watchers symbol.

The books titled "the future" read: "Our meeting was short and your victory grand, now 10 become 9 and you must leave this land. Our reasons are just, though you won't understand. Your actions have caused this, accidental or planned. Tread now to your homes, carry only what you can. Anymore will be drowned on and the sentence, a ban. We The Watchers Have Spoken."

They find the chests Jimmy had left them and inside is a note from the Listeners labeled "Greetings": "There are some who watch, we are those who listen, and we do not agree with their most recent decisions. 'Carry only what you can', what you deem best, We grant you more space by making use of this chest. SHHhhh....."

Later Jimmy finds signs from Martyn telling him what's going on and where to go. Jimmy shows caution and distrust towards the Watchers but follows all the same. 

They set up everything at the new spawn, but in Jimmy's episode 112, he noticed an odd musical ticking sound beneath spawn. He goes around to everyone's base to leave them a sign asking what it is to make sure they know about it. They all gather at spawn and find that it was the Listeners who did it.

Under spawn they find a book titled "Freedom" by the Listeners. It reads: "There are some who watch, we are those who listen, if you flee you'll be free and complete your recission. Single versions are slow, new adventures in store, come with us and we'll give you lots more to explore. Make haste through this maze as a portal awaits, make the choice quick and take control of your fates. SHHhhh...."

They make their way through the maze and eventually find the last portal. They all get ready to make the jump for the last time, and go through the portal. For most this is the end of Evo (Jimmy, Pearl, and Netty do Christmas specials but those are only 2 episodes) meaning that this portal was really some kind of escape.

----end of very long Evo Recap----

This means that not only had the Watchers always had a dislike for Jimmy, but the Listener always had an interest in him and Martyn.

There is also the fact that Jimmy was the one the Listeners chose to deliver the enderchests. Bringing him to the original spawn under the Watcher's nose for this task, giving out something that will later help get around the Watcher's decision. And the fact that he was the one to first notice the strange sound at spawn and then go and warn the others? or at least inform them of this allowing them all to eventually find their escape? 

It seems to me like Jimmy had long ago gotten a target painted on his back by the Watchers. With everything from

 1) going against them 

2) working for the listeners 

3) influencing others to go with him

4) they just generally didn't even like him beforehand.

By the time everyone escaped Evo it's a fair assumption that Jimmy is probably at the top of their list of problems.

So, when they make a new experiment with the death games and they have him there? Well, they can't have him staying around long enough to start figuring things out and influencing people, now can they. 

And speaking of warning others, he seemed to be so intent on warning the other Evolutionists against the Watchers. What would be a better punishment for going against them, for being one of the main catalyst in it all, then to be cursed to always be the warning. Cursed to always be the first to die, always gone before something big goes down, the Canary in the coalmine.  But no matter what his death warns of, there is no escape this time. The coalmine's entrance is sealed and no matter how long you last, soon everything inside will suffocate.

And maybe this feeds into Secret life where he mentions how the Secret keepers symbol looks familiar, or how he decides to team up with Martyn just like in Evo. 

Maybe him surviving a little longer in the games and coming back after death as a guardian angel is a testament to how the listeners are stronger in this season. An apology/gift to their first chosen for everything their actions had put him through. 

But that's probably just me making far fetched connections and reading too far into things. Could be cool though.

[blueishspace]

HermitShift/EmpiresShift 7

Here we go again.

VintageBeef (Sausage's role)

(Emperor + Regular)

I couldn't help myself, they are both named after meat, you can't blame me.

Empires member, been in both season plus Afterlife SMP.

Founder of the church of Saint Impulse.

I didn't know what spacetime traveling pet to give him so I decided that his cows are all his Bubbles... All his cows, no exception.

If Gem is in Joel's role does that mean Hermes is his and Gem's son? Kinda but not really? It's complicated, It's magic. Also there's no Hermes here, the child is called Kore.

Sausage (Welsknight’s role)

(Hels + Regular)

Yes, Corrupted!Sausage is a Hels, fight me on it.

The Smitten Knight, I don't know how else to possibly describe him, we all know what Sausage is like. Puts together Sausage's flirtyness and the chivalry+ romance associated with knights.

I am just imagining Sausage rapping against himself, what is with Wels and rap anyway? If I had a nickel- *gets shot by Jimmy Solidaritygaming*

Disappears sometimes for long periods of time for unknown reasons.

Welsknight (Katherine Elizabeth's role)

(Cursed Prince + Regular)

Making an helmet-less Wels was incredibly cursed, had to combine Jimmy's and Grian's hair to make this.

Yeah, empires two has the curse thing that split the kingdom in two. Empires 2 Wels is kind of a fusion of Helsknight and Welsknight more then just Wels.

Of course I put the one that always builds castles in the role of the one that also always builds castles./j

Still really into knights but less in the "he's an actual knight" way and more in the "used to want to be a knight as a kid and never grew out of that phase" way.

I was thinking of a name to give Zed x Wels for this and tried genderbending Nature Wives and almost ended calling it Flower husbands. Settled on Woodland fiances.

Katherine (Rendog's role)

(Sci-fi + Red Spring + Regular)

Rose tinted glasses...but purple. Liliac tinted glasses? Is that a thing.

Katherine being in Rendog's role is entirely because I tought it would be funny with the whole cat and dog thing.

Also, more women in the life series, that is desperately needed.

Red Spring!Katherine gives me Thorn vibes, like The Thorn from Slay The Princess. Not necessarily aesthetically but more of a same-vibe thing.

Imagine her sci-fi visor has text on it, like saying what she feels (Happy, Sad, Angry...) ... Or what she wants you to think she is feeling.

Rendog (XB Crafted's role)

(Suit + Regular)

Is it weird that I like Ren with an hoodie on more then his regular skin?

Definitely one of the oldest members of Hermitcraft, been there ever since season 2.

Has only met this world's Martyn once, you'll understand when you eventually see Martyn, it still left a lasting impression... I don't think that a simple roleswap would make them any less weird about eachother.

Sued Tango over the shops. You thought Xb vs Mumbo was epic? Imagine that but with Ren being in the courtroom the whole time.

Xb (Joey's role)

(Fire/Ice Witch + Pirate + Lost Empire)

Yes, I made the Lost Empire prismarine inspired, but I don't think anything else would have fit him.

The orange and teal thing is a lot more obvious now, at the same time it feels right to me.

Pirate Xb had that weird thing going on with Wels... You know, the Pirate Joey/Katherine thing aka the weirdest part of empires lore.

As already stated in previous parts Pungence takes the place of Xonorth (Cause Bdubs takes Scott's). Therefore Xb x Pungence is also canon, that's one crackship for sure.

[mcytshipsandmore]

"And its just me myself and i" i sing, comfort zone (cut song from epic), as i sit alone in the gripearl tumblr community party... I'm the only member, and im also the creator... no one wants to have their cake and eat it with me :(

Anyway grian x pearl please i need

Theyre so exes

I made this whole au where. Idek anymore but

I think. Ok so its this high school au except

Evo is more so kindergarten, and then grian moved away at like the first years of elementary and everyone split up (grian and pearl were kindergarten sweethearts... COUGH kindergarten boyfriend from heathers)

Oh I should also. Probably mention. Scar and Pearl are bio siblings in this

In middle school (3rd life) we have the silly lil cast ofc.

Pearl changes to that school by start of high school (last life, first 2 years). We also have Lizzie as an exchange student then. Grian denies knowing Pearl per usual.. (per usual in my life series gripearl lore)

Lizzie leaves, we have the last two years (double life), drama ensues. Majormoon was actually kinda something by the end of sophomore year and start of junior year. The usual "you cheated on me so we're over!!" "What?? I didnt?? We just went to buy suits/dresses together??" Thingy ensues. All soulmates are pairs for the whole senior prom thing, and cheating on a soulmate implies going with someone else. Pearl and Martyn went dress and suit shopping together at the mall cause they wanted to look for options early and bc trying on funky stuff together was fun, but they got pictures taken by someone? And Scott and Cleo saw and thought they were getting stuff to go with eachother... Martyn again tries to win Cleo back, ends up going with Ren, cause BigB is going with Grian, and Scar and Pearl go together as family, mostly in solidarity cause they both got dumped.

then we get to college (limited life), and we have pearl making bad decisions after the whole dl fiasco. Rooms with BigB, tho not so convinced at first, but they make up for the whole prom thing (since yes Pearl's upset he went with Scar's partner??), but its okay cus Pearl and Cleo make up aswell... Scott and Pearl... kinda make up?? Anyways.

Here's where the gripearl comes in. Pearl goes out drinking and karaoke withhhh BigB, Cleo, Scar and Bdubs... they start shittalking everyone in campus cause BigB and Pearl got their lil nosy info, noses all up in other ppl's business, and the Clockers looove hearin all the drama they have to share... no one knows when exactly Etho and Cleo were a thing? Sometime between here and when they graduated and shit. And then they get to the Bad Boys (NAAATURALLY).... and Pearl, specially after discussing Scott and such, has taken a bit too many sips. And theyre like completely doing full on instagram checking business on these people, so they pull up Grian's socials and Joel's and Jimmy's where ofc he's tagged a lot. and she starts seeing him in a different way... and considers calling him.... but surely thats a bad idea. Scar is aroace in this au so him and Grian werent romantic partners, but at least best friends, at *most* qpps, still- DL, HUGE BETRAYAL, Pearl cannot do that. Moon tells the group- and they ALL agree its a terrible idea, and theyre horrified at the thought.... Scar knows they have history too from way before but- hey?? What the flippin fuck....

things happen, shenanigans ensue, and yes im aware this makes pearl a terrible sibling but- low and behold, moon ends up at suns dorm.... needless to say, next morning, pearls in the kitchen having breakfast, reconsidering life choices. Bad Boys (jim and joel) are- flabbergasted. Jimmy had a bit more of an idea of where this could come from (though its been SO LONG AGO????) but JOEL?? My man thinks the world is all upside down and messed up, he couldve sworn Pearl hated Grian's guts

Aaaand all of this was created after looping Bad Idea by Olivia Rodrigo btw. This is all I have of the au for now, I hope u liked it so far. It ends up in majormoon again btw but I LOVE the liml gripearl era and i miss gripearl, i dont talk abt it enough

imagine walking in and seeing the person your roommate says he hates is making breakfast.

-🍫

[oshawottarchive]

[Pt 1] [Pt 2] [Pt 3] [Pt 4] [Pt 5] [Pt 6] [Pt 7] [Pt 8]

More because I am bored again

————

Jimmy: *standing at the top of the stairs* What are you all doing at the bottom of the staircase?

Impulse: I accidentally fell down

Tango: Skizz PUSHED ME down the stairs because I refused to pay HIS part of our rent!

Martyn: Scar bet me fifty bucks that I couldn’t reach the bottom of the stairs faster than Impulse did falling down them, so I slid down the banister

Pearl: I don’t know how I got here. One moment, I was sleeping in my bed, three floors up, and then suddenly I was waking up here, just in time to get crushed by Martyn

————

Grian: Hey guys, today Jimmy pushed me so I’m starting a kickstarter to put him down

Grian: The benefits of killing him is that I would get pushed way less

————

Tango: *pulls a glass of water from out of nowhere*

Scar: Where did you get that?

Tango: My pocket

Scar: How do you keep a glass of water in your pocket?

Tango: Skills

————

Pearl: The four Gs

Pearl: Gaslight, Gatekeep, Girlboss, and Gem

————

Etho: Life is like Bdubs. It’s short

————

Gem: Do you see yourself as a glass half-full person or a glass half-empty person?

Grian: Half-full, definitely

Grian: Half-full and constantly rising

Grian: Soon the water will escape its container and consume us all

————

Etho: Today at 7 AM, Impulse poured a monster energy drink in his coffee, said “I’m going to die”, and drank the whole thing

Skizz: I watched Impulse brew his coffee with monster instead of water. Three cups in two hours. I think he ascended into the astral realm

Tango: The survivability of the human race never fails to amaze me

————

Tango: Who would you swipe right for, Imp or Skizz?

Etho: I would delete the app

————

Tango: We can bake these cookies at 400 degrees for 10 minutes or 4,000 degrees for 1 minute

Etho: No, that’s not how you make cookies

Skizz: Floor it!!

Tango: How about 4,000,000 degrees for 1 second??

Etho: You’re gonna burn the house down!

Tango: I’M GONNA HARNESS THE POWER OF THE FUCKING SUN TO MAKE COOKIES!!!

Impulse: Do it!

Etho: NO—

————

Impulse: Small creatures are much more vicious because they have a smaller body to bottle up all their emotions

Bdubs: Ridiculous. Give me some examples

Tango: Wasps?

Skizz: Terriers?

Etho: Bdubs

————

Etho: You were stabbed. Do you remember anything?

Impulse: Only the ambulance ride to the hospital

Etho: That wasn’t an ambulance, I drove you

Impulse: But I heard a siren. . .

Tango: That was Skizz

Skizz: Sorry, I got nervous

————

Scar: I wouldn’t put it in those words, exactly

Grian: Why not?

Scar: Cause I don’t know what they mean

————

Scar: Dude, I will never forgive Craigslist for banning me after I wrote a post seeking a sworn nemesis. Whoever reported it is obviously my nemesis but I was so pissed

————

Skizz: Can we go to a haunted house?

Impulse: What’s wrong with the one we live in?

Skizz: Wh-what?

Scar: *through an intercom* Goodnight, Skizz

————

Tango: Are you busy?

Impulse: Yes

Tango: Okay cool. Hey listen to this—

————

Skizz: Man I’m so glad we didn’t forget the marshmallows

Impulse: Yeah, imagine if we got lost in the forest without s’mores ingredients

Grian: I still say that if everything goes south we should eat Skizz

Tango: *being used as a campfire* Screw you guys

————

Impulse: Everyone has a toxic trait. Except Skizz, he’s cool like that

Skizz: WRONG. My toxic trait is how badly I want to domesticate a raccoon

————

Skizz: Hey, G-Man! Where’s Top, Dipple-Dop, and Scarface?

Grian: They’re playing hide and seek

Skizz: Where?

Grian: I don’t think you get how this game works

————

Skizz: If you put “violently” in front of anything to describe your action, it becomes funnier

Skizz: Violently practices

Grian: Violently studies

Tango: Violently sleeps

Impulse: Violently shoots pictures

Zedaph: Violently boxes

Scar: Violently murders people

Tango: Violently worries about the previous statement

————

Grian: Why are you two always out during rainstorms?

Skizz: It’s very peaceful and refreshing. I love the smell of rain

Tango: Scar bet me that I couldn’t get struck by lightning, but he’s WRONG

————

Scar: Truth or dare?

Zedaph: Dare

Scar: I dare you to kiss the hottest person in the room

Tango: *catches fire*

Tango: I’m ready, Zed

————

[ilexdiapason]

(part one here) (part two here)

Oli leaves Martyn with his laptop in the living room while he brews the pair of them a cup of tea each in the kitchen. When asked whether he’d like milk and/or sugar, Martyn hesitated for way too long before saying he’d just like to have the same thing Oli was having. So, two teas with milk and three sugars it is. Let it never be said Oli breaks British stereotypes.

When Oli brings the tray back through with the teas, Martyn is still glued to the laptop, looking fairly shellshocked. “What’s that look for? You found anything?”

“No, just… thought I’d go find some of the YouTubers I was subscribed to, see what I missed. Didn’t realise Minecraft had come back in such a big way.”

Oli chuckles and takes a seat. “Yeah - I mean, it was a lot of us playing on Rats, did you never wonder?”

He looks up at Oli, raised eyebrows under that headband of his. “That was Minecraft?”

And…

Yeah, no, Oli’s not even gonna try and broach the implications of that question.

“Tea,” he says instead, gesturing to the tray on the coffee table between them.

Martyn sets the laptop down to the side and picks up a mug (Don’t Talk To Me Until I’ve Eaten This Mug, a personal favourite of Oli’s). He cups it gently, as though he’s not used to the heat - and maybe he isn’t. “Never used to drink tea,” he comments, “though mainly that’s cause my mum wouldn’t let me put the sugars in when I was twelve, and I pretty much swore it off out of spite after that.”

“Well, it’s not for everyone.”

He sips at it anyway - flinches away from the surface, from the burn, most likely. “Nothing wrong with it,” he reassures once it’s safely back on the tray, “just needs a few minutes to chill.”

“If you wanted ice tea, you could’ve just said so,” Oli quips.

“No, it’s - it’s good! I like the…” His hands flail aimlessly, gesturing at a meaning Oli finds himself entirely incapable of grasping. “I promise.”

“Alright.”

They sit in quiet for a few minutes after that, Oli drinking from his own cup and watching the laptop for any correspondence from his coworkers. He’s got some code that needs correcting, which a supervisor sent over, but he doesn’t think his brain is gonna be switching gears from this situation back to C# any time soon.

Eventually, Martyn picks the cup back up and tries again. This time he seems to be able to get a good mouthful of tea down, and another few teaspoons’ worth down his face and on his shirt. “Oh - are you alr- do you need some kitchen roll?”

“Uh,” says Martyn, eloquently. “Probably.”

So it is kitchen roll that he fetches, and it is kitchen roll that Martyn uses to attempt to dab his new tea stains out of his shirt. It’s also at this point that Oli notices something unusual. “Is your arm okay?”

“Hmm?”

“That looks like scarring, right? I mean, I assume it was a while ago, but -”

“Yeah, no, yeah, that’s old. Told you, didn’t I? Cats are vicious.”

He’s grinning, but Oli doesn’t exactly want to take a joke from the old Minecraft server as the only explanation. “Seriously. It’s not more stuff to do with this missing person situation, is it?”

The grin drops. Now, Martyn looks more resigned than anything. “Yeah. Wasn’t, like, torture or anything. I just got a bit banged up. You know how it gets.”

“Erm - well, I don’t, actually.” He’s never got a bit banged up in a way that left him with lasting scarring all down his limbs. “So now would be a great time to get some more explanation, if you have one.”

“I don’t,” says Martyn, quick as anything.

“So, what, I just send you home, and things go back to normal, except you’re in the Discord now?”

He studies Oli. There’s something really cold in there, a light that went out a long time ago. It’s clear that going back to normal isn’t really on the cards for Martyn, that even if this missing situation is all neatly resolved, it’s left him a different person from the one that his family know.

(But again - how do the video games square with all of this?)

When Martyn speaks, eventually, it’s not to answer the question. “Oh, fuck, Doc.”

“... Doc?”

“He’s - it’s this guy I knew, back home, he’s - god damn it, he still lives there, if I - fuck, fuck, I can’t go home, I can’t.”

This sudden switch from broken bleakness to a high-emotion panic is one that Oli neither anticipates nor knows how to respond to. “Hey - slow down, Marty, give it a minute,” he says, hoping that by delaying Martyn he can give himself more time to think about how to help with whatever the problem is.

“Fuck,” and is Martyn starting to cry? “I can’t go back, not if he’s gonna hear about it, and he will, I’m gonna be on the fucking news for how long I was in there, fucking -”

“Martyn,” Oli says, loud and authoritative enough to cut off his catastrophising. (Well, the concern might be entirely validated; Oli doesn’t know who this Doc guy is, after all. Still, he didn’t get that Psychology degree for nothing, and he’ll use the buzzwords if he wants to use the damn buzzwords.) “It’s okay. You’re not home, not right now. Nobody knows where you are, not this guy, not even your mum yet. Which would probably be a terrifying thing to say in any other case, but I’m guessing it’s not as bad for you.”

Martyn nods mutely, tears on his cheeks.

“So - alright, and you don’t have to tell me anything if you don’t want, that’s fine, but I’m just asking - who is that? To you?”

“He’s, uh.” Martyn’s voice cracks, wet and directionless. “He’s just a guy I know. Used to fix my consoles up for me, upgrade ‘em. Sold me some pretty sweet parts for the PC, too, even had a GPU on hand when the shortage was happening. God, NFTs aren’t still big, are they?”

“No, thank god, that bubble burst a long time ago,” Oli can’t help but smile. “Sounds like he was alright. What was the catch?”

“Um. He… kinda hired me? For something? That was pretty dangerous, but he didn’t have anybody else for the job? And then I realised he was - basically breaking a lot of labour laws, quite recently, did not realise how big of a dickhead he really was until… I don’t know how long it’s been. Anywhere from last night to a few days ago. But if I go home… well, he’s gonna be there, and he’s gonna want that job done, and he’s not gonna care that I’ve quit.”

Oli takes another sip of his tea while he processes all that.

Martyn sits up straight, very suddenly, and announces, “I was not being sex trafficked.”

One choked-on swallow later, which thankfully goes back into the mug for the most part, and Oli is laughing from the shock. “No, no, I didn’t - ack - didn’t even cross my mind, Marty, don’t worry. But that’s… good to know.”

“Yeah,” says Martyn.

“Yeah.”

He picks his own mug back up and, slowly but surely, drains the rest of it. There’s a constant wince in his expression that suggests he doesn’t really like tea, but Oli’s not about to stop him from drinking it if he’s decided to drink it. When he’s done, he clears his throat. “But, uh, yeah. If I go back home, Doc’s gonna catch wind, and he’ll probably find a way to get me right back into the mess I just got out of. And I don’t want that, obviously, so… I’m gonna have to… do something else.”

“I mean,” says Oli, making another probably-stupid decision, “my sofa’s free if you need to crash?”

“No, I should - I’ve gotta make good on my word to Mum, don’t I? Gotta show my face. Just… carefully, and quietly, and not answering to any strange men with retro games playing on their third monitor when they’re not using it.”

“Alright,” he repeats, but it feels more like willingly sending this clearly young adult straight back into the terrible situation from which he’s just escaped than it does bringing him home.

And, seriously, where do the video games fit in?

(part four here)

[microwavesaferat]

Guess what? Still on my Life Series TMA bullshit.

Got a name now! I'm calling it Archived Life mainly because I don't have anything better. If you haven't seen my other posts and are confused, you can check them out here:

Original Post and Patron Assignments

Vague Character Designs and Ideas

I saw a comment by @easily-distracted-by-fandom that raised a couple interesting questions that I wanted to think more deeply about. So thank you very much, it has continued to feed this hyperfixation like a sourdough starter.

One of the things brought up was the whole canary in a coal mine relation to the buried and Lizzie. I do think that the Buried does also work for Jimmy, but I prefer his tie to the end a bit more.

Martyn mentioned on stream recently that Jimmy's canary curse still fits despite him not dying first all the time cause it's like the Watcher's got bored with him and wanted something new. This translates to the Eye/Watcher's getting bored and wanting something new to Behold/Watch.

Should preface that the life Series works like the eye-pocalypse where they are all trapped, but those touched by the Eye can move semi-freely. Aka, by winning, you are touched by the Beholding and can Know things in each loop where others forget. The exception to this is Scar (pre-win) and Mumbo who are Web aligned. Scar blatantly knows of the loops whereas Mumbo only subconsciously remembers. This is also why, canonically, Scar never left when he won; he didn't want to start another loop.

Lizzie's relation to Jimmy is that she's the coal miner reliant on her canary. In Secret Life, Lizzie dies first, all because the canary didn't warn her. Then in Wild Life, she dies with her canary, buried in the hole she dug into the ground. Jimmy has a greater understanding of his patron now, but the consequence is that Lizzie now has no warning, dying before or with her canary.

I also think Jimmy started with canary wings and assumed he was Vast-alligned with Scott. Unfortunately, the wings have withered slowly into rotting, boney molting wings that he hides in shame.

I'm gonna make a post later about how each winner felt about the Eye and the revelations following their win, but for now, you can see the posts I've made with the tag #archivedlife (it's all I post about tbf)

[disenchanteds]

ok heres more

so another alliance is ren and martyn and idk when it atarted i just know they they are like Max Gay Yearning, their ship name is treebark and a whole handful of other ship names and oh the things i could tell you about how much gay yearning they have and the amount of times they mention one another on stream and when one of them pops up on the others stream they immediately turn into gay dramaticised theater kids on the gayest play possible they are horrible and i could write an entire gdocs about all of it but lets not since this is long already

next we have bdubs etho and tango. now bdubs and etho are already close on hermitcraft and so this teamup is more like a "boyfriends and. steve." teamup where they dont even regard tango most of the time and seem to not actually really like him? idk whats going on there

next we have the Feared Duo or gem and joel, both really well known for being extremely good at pvp and Will Kill You If Provoked. they may go on a murder spree or kill themselves or spontaneously combust at any second. we may never know. right now gem is putting up with joel annoying her and trying to keep joel in line and making friends with everyone but that will def change as time goes on.

NOW the spiciest team-up, GGG and Impulse. brief history here : GGG is gaslight, gatekeep, girlboss or cleo, scott and pearl in that order i believe. they were an amazing alliance in last life. cleo and scott turned on pearl in double life and manipulated everyone into hating her. pearl kept her distance during limited life and secret life. they sorta teamed up in real life (the one-off ep april fools, they used vr) but then there was this whole thing that caused cleo to kill pearl so welp. and then now. they are all allied again. bitter, petty, but somehow allied, with biting quips and bantering with one another that can go far considering they are a teamup of british, scottish and australian. so hm. and impulse is just there. between the four of them only impulse hasnt won (scott won last life, pearl won double life, cleo won real life) and for some reason impulse has been antagonising others and scott and cleo keep dismissing pearl's trauma from double life after they left her just because she won. like okay sure. this is a team on the constant verge of breakup but the four of them have always been pretty loyal to their alliances and so what is keeping them together is just Pure Spite and "i am loyal i guess.." oh and also pearl accidentally died from fall damage first because she shrunk and shifted too close to the edge and minecraft didnt register her as an entity and just pushed her off...so

and then there is bigb, who is off doing weird stuff and being alone and generally creepy and ok. heres the thing. so bigb is african american i believe and well. theres a new wood type in minecraft called pale wood that is basically white in color and. for some reason. bigb has. on his own volition. built a giant building shaped like his minecraft avatar face except instead of using like spruce or dark oak wood he used pale wood so hes basically like...white washing himself??? in minecraft??? in a death game??? i mean okay u do u i guess???

and yeah thats that and i havent even touched on ep 2 yet but ep 2 is also. well gempearl divorce arc if i say the least

[thedreadpoetroberts]

In light of there possibly being a new life series soon, have this short story I wrote as a concept but never ended up expanding on.

----------

Scar paced in front of the statue, heart hammering in his chest. He slammed his hands against the button. He wasn't sure how many times now. How many days. He looked at the book. "Win secret life."

"Please..." He said, hoarsely. "Please. I won. I don't. I don't know what to do."

He looked around. It had been months. After slamming his fists into the button until they bled, that first week alone; an action he hadn't repeated, not out of self preservation, or a lack of desire, but because of the unburied memories that seeing the blood had caused to come rushing forth; Scar had taken to visiting the statue only when he needed something to burn.

"Please."

He knew nothing would come of it.

Scar looked around. A gentle breeze blew. He scratched at the long stubble on his face. Shaving with shears wasn't exactly the easiest, and Scar once again debated letting it grow out.

Scar clenched the book, knuckles growing white around the spine. There were dozens of similar books surrounding him on the platform. Spines torn in half like a broken bird, pages scattered like so many feathers. He thought of Grian standing at the top of a cliff, and turned and walked away.

The world was much the same.

Except the sunflowers. He'd had to do something with his time. So he'd planted sunflowers. Thousands of them. They encroached on the bases of his... Friends? Did they even want to be friends? After everything he had done? He remembered. Remembered all of it, now. Grain, Scott, Pearl, Martyn... He knew, now, why they had been so quiet, for weeks, following the games. Games he hadn't been able to remember. He was angry, that no one had told him. Any of them. He understood why.

Scar pushes his way past some of the tall cheerful flowers, making his way along a path. He'd rebuilt the town, and it was looking finer than ever!

He pushed through the final flowers, and looked around. It was empty. Scar felt a pang in his chest. *Empty.*

Maybe this was his punishment, for causing so much pain and trouble for his friends. He bit his tongue hard, before letting out a quiet sob. "They don't want me." He murmured quietly to himself.

He'd sent messages. Message after message after message on his com. He'd sent out an emergency signal. And there had been no response. Were they looking for him? Did they miss him? Did they care?

Scar couldn't bring himself to let it end. When he had unlimited access to health, the thought of dying on purpose made him nauseous. What if he didn't come back? What if no one was looking for him because they were all de-

Scar stomped down the path, not letting himself finish the thought. He was spiraling enough. The sun was hitting the horizon. Scar decided to turn in for an early night.

His dreams were always the same.

A sound somewhere between a heartbeat and wingbeats surrounded him. The sound of a button. The book in his hands, and a purple fire, swirling, the secret keeper statue slowly tilting its head at him, blank face exuding curiosity. And then he was in a void, small pinpricks of light shimmering in the distance. And the secret keeper, again, but now smaller, and in black robes with pale lavender skin. Taller than an enderman and still faceless.

"What do you want?"

Scar stared at it, silently, for a few seconds. "I don't know." He sighed, wearily. "I don't know what I want. Why are you asking me this? Why..." He let the question die. It never answered.

The thing tilted its head at him. Then slowly turned. The dream always ended this way. The creature turning and disappearing.

"What do you want!?" Scar screamed at it. He couldn't take it anymore. He threw the book at it. "What do you want from me!?"

It paused, and slowly turned back around. "What do you most desire?"

Scar fell to his knees with a sob. He wrapped his arms around himself, and looked up at the figure. "I just don't want to be alone anymore."

The creature nodded. "It will be done."

[askthehcc]

We know the staffs favorite drinks, but what about friends of the staff and the brits?

Skizz: Oh! Not to be too much of a fancy pants about it, but I'm quite the fan of a cappuccino, extra chocolate.

Tango: Pfft, don't let the working class hear you say that or they'll riot.

---

Martyn: Just a good old British cuppa' tea for me, thank you very much. None of that mocha-cino malarky for me.

Joel: Yeah, I just drink black coffee, obviously.

Lizzie: Mmm, okay, then why do you always order a caramel frappe whenever we go out?

Joel: SHUT UP, LIZZIE.

Joel: At least I'm not one of those weirdos that likes a strawberry matcha. Who adds strawberry to their matcha?

Lizzie: The woman who's about to become your ex-wife, it seems!

Joel: Lizzie! You can't keep holding our marriage hostage to get me to agree with you!

Lizzie: ...

Martyn: Yeah, but you know she can, don't you?

Joel: Well!

Joel: I wish she wouldn't!

---

Jimmy: Ever since Tango first made me that honeycomb mocha that time I came in too early for Grian's shift, it's basically all I can think about nowadays.

Scott: Oh, the honeycomb mocha is the all you can think about, is it?

Jimmy: Yeah, it is!

Scott: ...

Jimmy: What?

Jimmy: What's that face for?

Scott: What face? I only have the one face, Jimmy.

Jimmy: Scott, what are you–

Scott: For me, it's black coffee, the stronger the better.

Jimmy: Hey, nononono, don't you distract me with you and your caffeine problems, cause you know how I feel about that.

Jimmy: Which, by the way, I've been meaning to say– No, wait, Scott, wait, come back!

---

BigB: My favourite drink is whatever Mumbo's beautiful moustache makes me.

Mumbo: [pats BigB's shoulder]

---

Gem: I change with the seasons. Some days I'm all about the vanilla lattes, other days I just want something super sweet and chocolatey.

Gem: It's hard to pin down, to be honest.

Pearl: Except for pumpkin spiced latte season, though.

Gem: Oh, well yeah, I mean, come on Pearl.

Gem: You know I'm a pumpkin spice girlie through and through, it's just not available all year because someone in head office clearly hates me.

Pearl: In the head office of all coffee shops, you mean? Even The Hermit? The independent coffee shop where our friends work?

Gem: It's a conspiracy, Pearl!

Pearl: ...

Pearl: Well I won't drink anything weaker than a cortado, personally.

Gem: [slams hands on the table] A conspiracy, I tell you!

---

Etho: I'm kinda partial to a green smoothie.

Cub: I tend to have a flat white.

Etho: Cub! Don't you count as staff, though?

Cub: Yeah, but the interviewer forgot me last time.

Etho: Oh, snap, that's pretty rude.

Cub: Indeed it was, indeed it was.

---

Interviewer's note: ...Yeah that was my bad.

[life-winners-liveblog]

Since a couple people are asking. could you.. describe how you view the winners’ appearances? Like the injuries and outfits maybe, me personally will figure it out from there cause I too wanna make fanart of this ✨

Also if you want, you could include some of the others like SL! Or LimL!Jimmy, DL!Scott & 3L!Scar 👀 /nf

-winners-

3L!Grian- Constantly bleeding from hi head, at this point in time the wound is covered by bandages and his hair. He has 2 purple wings one of which is bent and halfhazardly bandaged as well. For clothing either the classic red sweater (or the orange sun sweater) + a brown poncho... Eyes should be purple but sometimes have a red sheen.

LL!Scott: Start with Last Life Scott, add a star crown, lightning scars on his arms and neck and make his eyes kinda glowy and red or cyan in color whatever you prefer... That's about it.

DL!Pearl: Wears her Scarlet Pearl outfit except the hood has like crescent moons on it. She has a heart shaped burn on her shoulder (kinda unlikely you will need to know that for a drawing but who knows) and her fingers are a little blue... Her eyes are green but sometimes go red.

LimL!Martyn: Missing his left ear, there is no scar or anything It's just not there, only one whose eyes are still red constantly. Wears his mean gills fanon outfit and has coral growing on him.

-others-

LimL!Jimmy: Wears bad boy outfit glasses included and has 2 golden wings one of which is a bit burnt because of the tnt minecart exploding, before the enderian-ification his right eye was completely white like no iris or anything but now It's completely purple like that of an enderman ...he also has ender particles around him now.

3L!Scar: Still has gray skin but the color scheme of his clothes has changed completely. The brown of his pants, shoes and hat has been replaced by a very dark purple and his poncho is white and purple (normal not dark) with a repeating eye shape pattern. Ironically only one without wounds as the Watchers healed him.

DL!Scott: Just Double Life Scott except for 3 things, the cloud of explosion smoke that surrounds him, the glowing string (the soulbound) around his neck and his almost gray eyes.

SL!Jimmy: Similiarly to LimL!Jimmy he has two golden wings, the difference being that his are completely unhurt... his shoulder is covered in sculk but it doesn't seem to do anything.

[redacted]: gray skin, gray hair, the only color that can be found is the ////// of his sweater and the //// in his hands.

[tatertato]

life series smp winners playlists part 1

okay so i've been just absolutely brainrotting over this for like weeks now and its time to finally post it!

i've basically just been compiling songs that i think fit each of the life series winners, and they're either songs i've seen work really really well in animatics already or songs that would probably work really well, but are less popular or not associated with this fandom (yet)

i'll be linking+listing them here as well as providing little snippets of explanation for why i think the song fits, but i don't feel like making actual spotify playlists or smth, so if anyone else wants to do that, be my guest.

ofc i still had trouble finding good songs for some of them- if anyone seeing this has a good idea that i missed, lmk and i'll update these posts (no promises tho)

i was originally gonna put all of them into one post, but fortunately i have come to my senses, so this is part 1. here we go!

update:

pt 2 (LL!scott)

pt 3 (DL!pearl)

3rd Life: Grian

Eighth Wonder - Lemon Demon: this song gives major Watcher!Grian vibes imo

Extra clever Earth-bound spirit Ghost in the form Of a mongoose (watcher in the form of a player)

Hello, I'm here I'm living in the wall I know I might be small (common headcanons of short grian, also living surrounded by cactus walls!)

Jim, let me go I watch like Hell (self-explanatory)

2. A Big Day for Grimley - AJJ: this one is because of this animatic, and also the lyrics fit the characters almost too well

I went back to the desert, little Midwest in me And now I am colder than I used to be (it feels like him reflecting on his experiences in 3L)

I came back to the desert, and the desert came into me And now there’s a quietness, and it’s deafening (returned to the desert for the final duel, and now that he's the only one left, the absence of his partner is deafening)

i could go on much longer about this song, but i feel like the animatic sums it up really well so GO WATCH THAT GO GO GO

3. Take Me to War - The Crane Wives: i know that everyone and their mother has done desertduo crane wives, but i've yet to see anyone use this song, which is a shame since its one of my favorites!

I've earned myself a reputation That my bark is much worse than my bite But I keep snapping at Goliath's hands With all of my tiny might (technically, he's not red, and also his traps keep failing, so the threats are pretty empty, but that will not stop him from being a menace)

Take me to war Honey, I dare you I'll be the sweetest thing To ever scare you Give me a fight I can't resist Give me something to break with my fists Take me to war Honey, I dare you (same thing as the last one, but i had to put the chorus in this post, it's just too perfect)

So I will leave it where it's standing And instead I will find me a match I'll turn it all to kindling I'll burn it all down to ash (we love a bit of arson in this fandom)

4. Community Gardens - The Scary Jokes: this is watcher!grian again, sorry not sorry- i do have a really vivid image in my head of an animatic for this song tho (the brainrot goes deep, i cannot escape)

Full disclosure, I am a monster A creature of despair, not that that should be a cause for concern (its so watcher coded im gnawing on the walls)

You'll be fine, you honeycomb Who could ever hurt you? Who could be so cold? You'll be fine, oh, honey pie Who could ever hurt you? Who could be so unkind? (ok so remember when i said i had an animatic idea about two sentences ago? ya. so i imagine this part as watcher!grian going through and causing the final deaths of all the winners (except scar we'll get there i promise) for instance, smiting scott at the end of LL, severing pearl's soulmate string in DL, and checking the time left before killing martyn in LimL)

The culmination of man's mistakes came the day The sun ran so hot, it turned the desert to glass (this is the whole "hail mary" thing where they blew up the whole desert and still didn't kill anyone)

If there's something to be learned from all these losers It's that the price that you pay For arrogance and a false sense of immunity Is to face the wrath of a dying star (false sense of immunity is scar's no kill passes, reputation points, etc., which really didn't mean all that much in the end (see: Bdubs))

5. Passerine - The Oh Hellos: aside from the obvious bird symbolism (passerine are songbirds), the overall theme of this song fits the character pretty well! (i think it could also apply to DL jimmy if you squint)

You were the song that I'd always sing You were the light that the fire would bring But I can't shake this feeling that I was only Pushing the spear into your side again (3L typical desert/light/sun/fire imagery, with a bonus helping this time of 3L typical self doubt and/or survivor's guilt! you love to see it)

My palms and fingers still reek of gasoline From throwing fuel to the fire of that Greco-Roman dream Purifying the holy rock to melt the gilded seams It don't bring me relief, no it don't bring me nothing (more arson what can i say- also the hollow existentialism that comes with killing your friends)

When he comes a knocking at my door What am I to do, What am I to do, oh lord (ok i like to imagine this line as grian realizing that scar's SL win means he goes to hang out with the winners now, meaning uhoh reunion time! that's about to be awkward!)

6. Do It All The Time - IDKHBTFM: yeah i know it doesn't seem like it fits at first, but i think parts of it captures the spontaneous silliness of 3L pretty well

No reason why I'm only doing anything I want to do Because I do it all the time We're taking over the world A little victim-less crime (making monopolies (or trying to) really just because)

Now we're so young But we're probably gonna die It's so fun We're so good at selling lies (this one's pretty on the nose, but you get the idea)

and that's all for grian! stay tuned for LL!scott next!

[lxrd-ren]

Life Series Team-Ups I Really Wanna See:

- Tango + Joel

I could see them egging each other on if say they have beef with someone else (probably Scott knowing Joel), like two mad dogs without their leashes except they take turns being the mad dog, until they're both red that is :) They probably wouldn't make it until the end but it would still be fun watching their shenanigans. Plus, with the building skills from both, they could probably make a pretty sick base. Not to mention they cover each others blind spots what with Tango's redstone skills and Joel's pvp being quite good.

- Etho + Scar

The pair of them are wildcards so them teaming up would be the ultimate chaos combo. They also balance each other out sort of with Ethos chaos being more controlled and Scars chaos being more erratic and varying degrees of severity. Scar would get Etho to cause chaos more frequently and Etho would get Scar to A) Think it out properly and not just burn everything on a whim and B) Take precautions to not lead it back to them. Although there is a possibility they will betray each other, aslong as they don't base in or near a tree that is Ethos they should be a-ok for the most part 👍. I feel like this team-up is more unlikely than some of the others on this list but I'd still love to see it happen.

- Cleo + Jimmy

Girlboss meets wet cat, the ultimate combo. Although to be fair Jimmy was causing proper damage left and right in Secret Life so together they could probably be quite the duo. Although they will just make a lot of enemies very quickly so they gotta make allies and get geared up sharpish if they don't wanna be eliminated first; lookin at you canary >_> I don't see pvp being their strong suit so their best bet would be to rely on defence like armour and traps. Also a duo that talks a lotta shit; thing is, only one of them can get away with it. Jimmy would probably also be too scared to betray Cleo so fingers crossed there's no repeat of Last Life.

- Skizz + Scott + Grian

The get-shit-done trio. I could definitely see this trio lasting until the end with all their tendencies to make and uphold alliance's. Grian would likely be the planner, Scott provide the resources, and Skizz as #1 hype man. Also have a feeling that Scar would be at the top of their kill list. And again with two builders they could get a really cool base going. Not sure what their team name could be but Scott would likely be the one to come up with it. Aslong as they have loyalty to each other, which I've no doubt they will have, they could be a great team.

- Bdubs + Martyn

What with their willingness to go along with crazy plans and bits, this duo could get up to some shenanigans and a half lemme tell ya. I could also see them lasting a while. Bdubs would likely be a base-dweller with building the actual base and defences whilst Martyn gets the needed resources to get ahead of the other teams. Also quick to establish alliances and enemies. I feel like they'd settle on a mountain. Also a Martyn betrayal would go crazy against the ever loyal Bdubs.

- Impulse + Pearl

This duo is mainly because of how Scott's teammates usually go on to win either the current season or the next season and neither Gem nor Impulse has won it yet, paired with how Pearl has tried and sadly failed the past two seasons to get her teammates to win, she could very well break her curse if she pairs up with the most-likely to win in terms of Scott statistics. If they put their heads together they could make a really defence-able base, like Pearl's tower in Double Life, so they don't need to worry about head-to-head combat. Not to mention they're both great with a bow. I imagine Pearl could snipe some kills from up high whilst Impulse triggers redstone traps and the like. Their team name could be Pulse. This duo would definitely get far but I don't see both of them being in the final three; with any luck Impulse is the one in the final three again.

- Scar + Lizzie

I feel like they would talk a lotta shit but then that would lead to them being underestimated so it's all that more unexpected when they show they can wack a lotta shit too. Likely won't last until the end though. Plus it would be quite fitting what with them two being the loners of secret life to join up in the next season. I know this pairing is more unlikely given how Lizzie has only been in two seasons but still. Also I could totally see their base being a castle of sorts with Lizzie as the queen and Scar as her advisor. They'd also both get into and out of situations by swindling and sweet-talking. Speaking of, them first teaming up would likely be Scar trying to swindle Lizzie and then teaming up with her perhaps as a sorry and then it just kinda sticks; think Mean Gills kinda start.

- Ren + Gem

First off, their names rythme so instantly they're a great duo. Admittedly since Gem has only been in one season I can't really predict what her dynamic would be with, well, the majority of the members but I'm thinking tamed dog + rabid deer kinda thing. Their base would likely involve nature and they're probably gonna be either allied or enemies with Scott, no in-between.

- Etho + Mumbo

Ah yes, the duo that collectively knows niche and important things about the game, majority of it being about redstone and mob farms, but have no clue when it comes to basic things; like crafting fishing rods (cough cough Etho). I don't think they'd make it until the end but they'd get quite far I imagine. Probably would be allied with Grian in some way or another. I think they'd also both agree to keep an eye on Cleo but only because they're both intimidated of her. Like in Last Life I think Mumbo would be the stay-at-home husband whilst Etho socialises and gets resources. Plus I could see them getting stuff like end crystals and other things. I feel like Etho would come up with plans and Mumbo would go along with it no questions asked. But considering their curses, Mumbo probably will succumb to a lava or fire death. They may also get a teammate I'm not sure who though if Grian is already in an alliance. Perhaps Bdubs; I mean that's basically what happened in both Limited and Secret Life. Again like Lizzie, this duo is less likely given how Mumbo has also only been in two seasons but we can pray🙏.

[driflew]

I'm very interested in the Witch Au, if you have anything on it. Maybe how they met? Or really anything else.

i dont have how they met, but i can tell you about it--unfortunately, Ren wasn't conscious for their first meeting. they met after Ren was attacked by a wolf. Martyn helped treat his injuries, and left before he regained consciousness, as he wasn't interested in meeting Ren. the first time they talked was while Ren was recovering after that

ill actually give you two little snippets. one half snippet of ren's thoughts before seeking out Martyn for their first real meeting, and then an actual scene from later on in the plot

It’s been maybe a few days since he came down with… whatever it is that he has. He thinks it’s an infection, or something. Something from his injuries, from… it must be an infection. Just an infection.

Ren’s wounds are still fresh enough to ooze blood into his bandages, and his neighbors avert their eyes when they visit to avoid looking at the bandage bridging his nose to his mouth. His arm is in a sling, which is why anyone visits at all—Ren is having trouble lifting his arm, and his neighbors have been coming in to help him make meals and deal with his household. The help’s been nice, but…

Well, Ren hasn’t felt well. It’s more than just the injury—Ren feels sick. He’s constantly nauseous, and his skin feels both too loose and too tight for his body. He feels hot, uncomfortably so, and he’s been spending hours at a time shaking uncontrollably on and off.

It started a day or two after the attack in the woods. He’s sure that the— that the injury caused it. It has to be.

He’s sick. He’s sure he has some sort of infection, and he knows the doctor will leave by the end of the week. Ren doesn’t know how much more of this he can handle. He definitely can’t handle this until next month when the doctor comes back.

So Ren crawls out of bed, pulls on a long overcoat to cover his sleepwear, and heads out to the market where he knows the doctor should be.

The doctor’s not a social man, from what Ren has seen—despite the fact he only just treated Ren’s injuries, Ren isn’t even sure he knows the man’s name. He comes to town once a month and has for years, but no one knows a thing about him.

Well. Except where to find him, of course—this is the only thing the doctor makes known. His stand is toward the middle of the town’s market, but about as far to the edge as can still reasonably be called the “middle.” He spends a whole week there, then heads to the next town.

and then, a full scene, if you want it. this is probs the last mainline witches thing i can post? scene from once Ren has weathered a few full moons and the two of them have become actual friends. first time at martyn's home

Ren doesn’t know where he is.

For one, Ren isn’t in his bed. That’s weird, at least for a moment, until he remembers that’s not where he went to sleep. He went to sleep in his basement, but he’s… also not in his basement. The floor there is cold stone, and this is not. 

Ren’s cheek is pressed against a rough rug. He can feel the woven texture all down the front of his body just as clearly as he does his face—he’s not wearing anything. That’s remedied by the blanket over his back, at least, but his face heats slightly at the realization. 

Ren finally opens his eyes. The rug he’s lying on is a faded yellow, though even from here, Ren can see it’s worn and a bit muddy. He wrinkles his nose, prying himself off the ground and propping himself onto his elbows to look around. 

There’s a couch. It’s old, too, and covered in blankets and pillows in mismatched styles and shapes. This is where his blanket must have come from, he thinks, sitting up further to wrap himself in even more of it. 

Ren should be panicked, he thinks, but something about this place makes him feel calm. Wherever he is, he thinks he’s safe here. Something about the smell of it, Ren… Ren trusts this place. 

He traces his eyes over the rest of the room lazily, not yet having cleared the sleep from his head. There’s a pile of books beside the couch, shirts tossed over the arm, a window with half a dozen plants. Ren sees a table stacked with leaf clippings and dirty glass, with various cups and bottles in states of full and finished. The liquids inside are all different, though Ren doesn’t recognize any. 

He keeps looking around the room, but then his eye falls on something else on the floor. 

Beside Ren is another body. Ren recognizes him immediately: Martyn. 

The previous night comes back to Ren so abruptly he gasps. Flashes of the wolf breaking free from his prison and wandering the town, the doctor appearing and calming him down, patting his head and leading him to the cabin, letting Ren stay in his home, and promising him a safe place to sleep. 

He’s lying on his back, hair and clothes rumpled. He snores once after Ren notices him, snorting in his sleep before drifting back off. 

Ren’s confusion gives way to a fond smile. 

“Thank you, Doctor,” Ren says, “This worked much better than the sedative.” 

Martyn doesn’t hear him, of course. He sleeps on, even as Ren stands, blanket wrapped around his shoulders, and retrieves a pillow and another blanket from the couch. He doesn’t react when Ren drapes the blanket over him, nor does he react when Ren gently lifts his head to slide a pillow underneath. 

Martyn’s behavior the night before had been weird, certainly—to confront something like Ren without flinching is something no normal person could do, but Martyn had done it for Ren without hesitation. 

Whatever gave him the strength to help Ren, Ren won’t question it. Being grateful is the least Ren could do. And that means helping Martyn in return. 

—

Martyn wakes up to the sound of rummaging. 

It takes Martyn maybe two seconds of being annoyed at his soreness to remember how his night went, at which point he immediately shoots awake. Ren startles at Martyn’s sudden sitting up, but when Martyn’s eye settles on him, he smiles. 

“Oh, hey, how’d you sleep?” Ren asks. He’s holding one of Martyn’s spell books (??!!?) and wearing some of Martyn’s dirty laundry. 

“Bad,” Martyn says, “Why are you touching my stuff?” 

Ren laughs, “Sorry, I wanted to help you clean up. You have a lot of books on your floor, so I’m putting them on the shelf.” 

“Thanks,” Martyn says, “Don’t touch my stuff.” 

“Duly noted,” Ren says, stuffing Martyn’s book into his shelf. “I dusted and swept what I could while you were asleep. Didn’t want to touch your medicine table, but I cleaned up some of the rest of the house. You had, er, a lot of fur.” 

“Can’t imagine why,” Martyn says. 

“Sorry,” Ren says, “Thank you, though. I don’t know what would have happened if you hadn’t… thank you. You’re a lifesaver. I really owe you.” 

“Oh,” Martyn says, “Yeah, it’s— obviously. That’s what I do.”

Ren beams, “Yeah, you do.”